The Quest For the Coolest Girl
by ravenclawdancer4999
Summary: Meredith must complete a quest to discover her part in "A Very Potter Senior Year." Will she figure it out before she goes nuts? Somewhat of a sequel to "All's Fair in Love and Laser Tag." Set before AVPSY. Rated T for some swears.
1. Commence Operation Pigfarts

**So, as I said, this is kind of a sequel to one of my first fanfics, "All's Fair In Love and Laser Tag." I've actually had it in my computer for a while, since I was focusing on longer projects. Since I haven't been able to put out a fresh chapter for "Opposites Attract" in a while, I still wanted to post something new for ya. Hope you all enjoy! Read and review**. **Hugs and butterfly kisses, ravenclawdancer4999.**

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"We want to welcome all of you to the official casting for A Very Potter Senior Year," Nick smiled, sharing a look with his brother, Matt. There were several whoops and wolf-whistles from their friends that followed. "Now, we usually don't let you guys in on the casting, but I think we can all agree that this is a special exception." With that, he dropped a heavy stack of paper bound with a giant binder clip on to the dining room table; the final installment of the Potter musicals.

"Damn," Walker commented, "This thing is going to be five hours long."

"Actually, it should be about four," Brian replied pleasantly, "If we did the math correctly."

"I think you guys must have had some miscommunication somewhere along the line," Dylan raised an eyebrow, staring at the script, "You were supposed to write a script, not the eighth Harry Potter book."

"You could say we got a tiny bit carried away," Nick grinned sheepishly, "But we didn't want to let any of our jokes from the past few years go to waste. Anyways, on to the casting-"

"To get the obvious out of the way," Matt nodded, plopping down in his chair, "If you've had a role in the past Potter musicals, you'll most likely be reprising that role. Darren is playing Harry. Joey, you'll be Ron-"

"YES!" Joey hollered, jumping up from his chair and giving an enthusiastic fist pump.

"Joey, I'm pretty sure there would be a riot if you didn't play Ron," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Moving on, we're still waiting for an answer from the person we asked to play Hermione, but we'll keep you all posted," Nick continued, "Jaime, you'll obviously be playing Ginny. This musical is heavily based on book two, so we'll be seeing more of her."

"Does that mean what I think that means?" Walker grinned.

"Yep, Voldemort is back," Brian answered, "And better than ever, if I'm not mistaken."

"What about me?" Dylan asked keenly, "Isn't Dumbledore, you know, at Pigfarts?"

"You'll be in a lot of Tom Riddle-Voldemort's flashbacks, we pulled a lot from book six too," Matt admitted.

"Jim, you'll be playing Goyle and Bill. Unfortunately, Julia won't be able to make it, so Pat will be playing the Candy Lady," Nick added, "I'll be playing Sorty, Scarfy, and Arthur again. And Lauren-"

"SILENCE, MUDBLOOD," Lauren bellowed, "The great Draco Malfoy will not be told what to do by the likes of you!"

"Seriously, Lo!" Julia scowled, clamping her hands over ears, "I wonder how I'm not deaf yet! What have I told you about using your inside voice?"

"We both know I don't have one," Lauren retorted cheekily, before turning back to the Lang brothers, "What about the others? Devin? Lily?"

"We've already made all the necessary phone calls," Brian answered, "Lily will still be both Pansy and Mrs. Weasley, Devin is going to be Cho Chang and Charlie, Richard is Neville, Rosenthal is back in as Seamus, James, and Quirrel, and Britney is Bellatrix and Dean."

"But what about Arielle? Sango?"

"They'll be back as well, except we've added some new characters to the mix. Arielle will still be Fred, but she'll also be playing Hannah Abbott and Mary Riddle, Voldemort's grandmother."

"But who's playing Luna?" Meredith asked, a tiny bit of hope in her voice.

"Well, we actually have managed to pull together something special for everyone," Matt smiled, "We had Devin talk to her, and none other than Evanna Lynch herself will be playing Luna Lovegood." There was a loud cheer that erupted from the group. Meredith was a bit quieter than the others, not because she didn't like Evanna; she adored the girl as a matter of fact. She just wasn't sure where she was going to fit in the show with everyone else.

"As for the others, Moses will be playing Nearly Headless Nick, and have a quick appearance as Snape. Sango will be Lavender again, but she'll also be playing George and a character we added, called Wang Mu. Nick Strauss will be back as Sirius briefly, but he'll be our Fenrir Greyback," Nick continued, "Corey Dorris is back as Kingsley Shacklebolt, the Minister of Magic. Alle will be a Hogwarts student and Albus in the epilogue. Tyler will be returning briefly as Cedric and Lucius, but he'll be playing Professor McGonagall-"

"WHAT?!" Walker nearly choked, "Does he know this yet?"

"Not exactly," Nick smirked, "But we wanted to keep in the tradition of people cross-dressing in these shows. Which is why, in addition to playing Mad-Eye Moody and Tom Riddle Senior, Chris will be playing Moaning Myrtle." There arose from the group another roar of laughter, even louder than the first. Joey even began a round of applause for the Lang brothers and Brian. Again, Meredith grinned broadly, but felt her heart sink a little bit more. She had heard rumors of Myrtle being put into the show, and had been expecting she might be playing the moody ghost.

"What about Denise?" Jaime inquired, interrupting Meredith's thoughts and putting an arm around Denise.

"She'll be playing Mrs. Cole, the head of the orphanage," Brian said, "Along with assisting me with another character…"

"And what character might that be, oh wise one?" Denise asked, grinning slightly.

"I'll be playing the Basilisk," Brian finished, looking very pleased with himself, "I've already seen the plans Nick drew up for the puppet and this thing is going to be huge! I'll also be playing Lupin briefly, along with Hagrid." Brian took on a very silly accent. "I've been workin' on my Scottish."

"And I suggest you keep working on it," Meredith observed, "You sound more like an extremely drunk Russian…"

"Finally, those new to the show," he interrupted, "Brant will play Colin Creevy and a Wizard Cop. Nico is going to play a snake as well as Thoms Riddle, Voldemort's grandfather. Eric has agreed to play a Wizard Cop along with Brant. Elona will return as the Grey Lady and Madame Pomfry. Jeff Blim is going to be our Aragog, and a Death Eater, just to keep with his villain theme. And the news you've all been waiting for, the one and only AJ Holmes _will _be playing Gilderoy Lockhart, in addition to collaborating with Clark and Pierce on the music!"

The loudest cheer of all came immediately after, along with much pounding on the table and applause. While everyone was distracted, Lauren fired off a quick text from underneath the table to Brian. After feeling the light buzz in his pocket, Brian carefully pulled out his phone under the table and quickly scanned the message.

"When r we going 2 tell Mere? It's killing her!" Brian raised an eyebrow. Did Meredith really think they had forgotten about her? The boy's eyes darted across the table to Meredith, who was smiling, but clearly trying to hide hurt feelings. Brian grinned slightly, shaking his head. Meredith was a smart girl, but was always at a loss when taken by surprise. He sent a brief text when no one was looking.

"When the opportunity presents itself, then, we strike." By sheer coincidence, Meredith slowly stood up from her chair, while everyone else chatted animatedly about the past Potter musicals.

"Bathroom," she murmured, excusing herself from the discussion.

What she didn't know was that the minute she had completely left the room, her friends became strangely silent. Matt poked his head out of the doorway to ensure she was gone and went back into the room.

"You're absolutely sure she has no idea?" Nick asked.

"Positive," Julia nodded, "None of the girls have said a word."

"Same," Dylan agreed, "None of the guys have either."

"I just feel really bad, though," Denise confessed, "She looked like a kicked puppy when she thought we left her out."

"I think she'll forgive us once she knows," Walker said cheerfully, "Hopefully."

Moments later, Meredith's footsteps began to plod along the hallway and Brian pulled a large cardboard box from under the table, carefully setting it out where Meredith could see it.

"Commence Operation Pigfarts," Brian whispered as he motioned for everyone to spread out and hide. Jaime had just dove behind the sofa when the girl re-entered the room, still looking very down on herself. Meredith looked up and noticed the empty table.

"Guys?" she called suspiciously, "Guys?" Suddenly, she noticed the cardboard box sitting out on the table. On closer inspection, there was a note sitting on top, written in a hasty scrawl. Picking it up, Meredith allowed her eyes to scan over the page.

_"To the lucky girl who finds this letter, you're one step closer to finding a treasure. Read carefully now, the rest of this scroll; you must put together the clues to discover your role."_

"Of course," Meredith groaned, "Let's just make this as difficult as possible." Reluctantly, she put down the note and read the label taped on the package.

_"Open Me." _

Shrugging, Meredith slid her fingers under the tape that held the box shut. Pulling open the flaps, she gave an uncharacteristically high shriek.

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***GASP* Cliffhanger...**


	2. Romione and Dramione

**Hello again, people of the internet. When we last saw Meredith, she had screamed at what she found in the box. Was it a snake? A Spiderman 3 DVD? A pair Joe's gym socks? Read on to find out...**

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Inside the box sat a stuffed cat, but this was no normal cat. It looked like someone had ripped the head off of it and replaced it with the head of a tiger. The black beady eyes glinted maliciously; almost looking like it was about to bite Meredith's face off.

"Bloody hell!" a voice laughed, "You should have seen your face…" Joey strolled in from the kitchen, eating a fresh bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. Meredith jumped slightly at the sudden noise, but rolled her eyes.

"You're behind this, no wonder," she rolled her eyes, "But to be perfectly honest, I would have expected this more from Brian and Joe…" Instead of agreeing, Joey's face twisted in confusion.

"Who are Brian and Joe?" he puzzled, playing stupid, "Are they Slytherins?"

"What do you mean, 'Are they Slytherins?'" Meredith replied, looking equally confused, "I know that Brian is kind of a troll on Twitter sometimes and Joe practically is Volde-" Joey screamed and clamped both hands over Meredith's mouth before she could finish.

"Don't say his name!" he shook his head, "It's taboo." The girl grabbed Joey's hands and tore them off her mouth.

"Okay, what the hell is going on Joey?" Meredith demanded.

"Who's Joey?" he cocked an eyebrow, "I think you're going bonkers; you're acting almost as weird as Professor Trelawney…" Suddenly, it hit Meredith; bloody hell, the eating, and the taboo.

"Sorry…_Ron_," she tried again, "I'm just not feeling myself today; what were you doing in the kitchen?"

"You know, getting some snacks," he answered casually, "And trying to find my stupid, dumb little sister."

"Do you want me to help you look for her?" Meredith offered.

"I guess, I don't really want to find her," Joey scowled, "But if you'll help I guess it won't be too terrible."

"Thanks…I think. Where did you last see her?"

"She said something about needing to pee or something stupid like that. I swear she's so annoying; some people are such dumbasses!"

"Did someone say Draco Malfoy?" a new voice cut in. Lauren came rolling into the room, full on Malfoy style. Once she reached Meredith and Joey's side of the room, she jumped up off the floor and strutted over to them.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Ron Weasel…" she drawled in a British accent, her gaze flicking over to Meredith, "And with this lovely creature? Tell me, does Weasley have a little schoolboy crush?"

"None of your beeswax, Malfoy!" Joey growled, moving to stand in front of Meredith defensively. However, Lauren ignored him, pushing Joey back to reach Meredith.

"Do tell me, what is a delicate flower like yourself doing associating with this filth?" Lauren winked, "Now, is there anything I could do for you?"

Meredith couldn't help but bite her lip to keep from laughing. The fact that Lauren was pretending to be a flirtatious British boy, was nothing short of hilarious.

"Shove off, Falmoy," Joey snarled, a little more harshly this time, "Why would she want anything _you_ could give her?"

"On the contrary, sir," she smirked, "I think she would find what I have to give her, quite useful." Still looking very smug, she reached into her shirt and extracted a long gold chain that had been hung around her neck. On the end hung a gold hourglass, which was far from unfamiliar to someone like Meredith.

"No way," Meredith asked, the tiniest bit of awe in her voice, "Is that, a time turner?"

"Indeed it is," Lauren replied, "It's also a gift for you." She removed the necklace and gently placed it over Meredith's neck. The girl couldn't help but admire the artifact; she was an avid Harry Potter fan after all. This, however, left Joey (or Ron, whoever he was) looking steamed.

"C'mon, let's go look for Ginny," he grumbled, grabbing Meredith's wrist and dragging her down the hall towards the bathroom.

"Wait for me!" Lauren called, jogging after them, "I'll chip in, we'll find her faster that way, and then perhaps you and I could go for a few drinks?"

"Okay, seriously Lauren?" Meredith rolled her eyes, "I know you're a method actress, but this is getting kind of creepy."

"Who is this Lauren you speak of?" Lauren raised an eyebrow.

"She, you-UGH!" Meredith said exasperatedly, "Let's just find Jaime, arg, Ginny, whoever the hell she is at this point." Stalking down the hallway, she failed to see Lauren and Joey fist bump the minute she wasn't looking.

"How long until she screams?" Joey whispered.

"Twenty minutes, half an hour," Lauren snorted quietly, "Once we find Jaime, I give it ten minutes. Max."

"Want to try to cut that time in half?"

"You're on." Lauren wrapped herself around Joey's left leg and allowed him to drag her as he walked.

"Get your poopy butt off me!"

"I refuse; Malfoys do not walk, we are meant to be upheld as kings, as well as be provided with transportation at all times." Unfortunately, it seemed Meredith wasn't responding. However, on closer inspection, Joey and Lauren promptly discovered the reason for her shock.


	3. You're No Help

**Yet another cliff hanger, sorry about that. If I keep this up, I might be able to give Rick Riordan a run for his money...But nevermind that, on with the story! Fair warning, lots of swears in this chapter (for the sake of portraying a certain AVPS character accurately). Read and review. Hugs and butterfly kisses, ravenclawdancer4999.**

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Peeking into one of the bedrooms, the two saw that Brian was sprawled on the floor in nothing but a pair of boxers. He clutched a beer bottle in his right hand, mumbling to himself and taking swigs every few seconds.

"Problem, Brian?" Meredith asked, raising an eyebrow. For the first time, he looked up and gave a small yelp of surprise.

"Wizard God, don't ever sneak up on me like that again," he slurred, "I thought you were a night troll for a second there. Who's Brian? Is he a Death Eater?"

"No…but he sure does have the makings of one," Meredith commented, trying to get a rise out of him. Brian didn't scowl, even though he might have wanted to.

"Wait a second, are you Death Eater?" he exclaimed, scrambling to his feet, "Were you sent here to kill me? I bet you were! STUPEFY!" Brian pointed the bottle at Meredith's head, as though expecting something more to happen. All that he received was a look from Meredith that told him she wasn't impressed in the slightest.

"That's a bottle," she raised an eyebrow, "Not a wand."

"Shit," Brian muttered, "That'd explain it….Sorry about that, but those Death Eaters are real dicks." Both Lauren and Joey gasped, clapping their hands over their ears and looking traumatized. "What's the matter with you-oh fuck, you guys are just kids! I've got to watch my damn mouth around you little shits. Oops, I mean, fudge, I've got to watch my damn mouth around you little shits."

Lauren and Joey continued to look horrified as Meredith looked up at the ceiling as if to say, _"Really? I have to deal with this?" _Her gaze fell back down to Brian, who took another swig of beer.

"Why don't you let me have that?" Meredith asked, reaching out to take the bottle, "You've clearly had enough."

"NO!" Brian shouted, clutching it to his chest, "It's mine, find your own!"

"Fine," Meredith rolled her eyes, "But have you seen Ginny anywhere?"

"Little Weasley chick who's obsessed with Harry Potter?" Brian replied, his speech still slurred. Meredith nodded eagerly, hopeful she might get some kind of useful information. He took another swig from the bottle. "Can't say that I have."

"Well you're no help," Meredith groaned, turning to leave the room, "Now I'll never figure this whole thing out."

"Wait!" Brian called, throwing himself around Meredith's ankle, "You should ask Dumbledore's portrait!"

"I should what?" Meredith asked, turning and trying to shake him off.

"Ask Dumbledore," Joey repeated, a look of realization on his face, "His portrait is still hanging somewhere around here!"

"He's only the smartest, bravest, kindest, most beautiful wizard known to our kind!" Lauren exclaimed, "Why didn't we think of it before?"

"I'll tell you why," Brian grinned crookedly from the floor, "Because you didn't have me, that's why. He's pretty much clairvoyant, can answer almost any question you have. Let me come with you guys, I'll help you find him lickedy-split."

"Okay, first of all, never say that again," Meredith answered bluntly, "Second of all, why would I need your help?"

"Because I'm a teacher," he proclaimed scrambling to his feet, "And I can protect you!"

"From what?" Meredith snorted, "Rogue frat boys?"

"Ya know, boggarts, dementors, grindlylows," he listed, "Death Eaters, Voldemort, Cornish pixies…"

"Death Eaters?" Joey whimpered.

"The Dark Lord?" Lauren gasped.

"Haven't you seen the latest Prophet?" Brian explained, "Voldemort's on the loose again. The Ministry is freaking out; even the wizard cops aren't sure what to do. He's been running around trying to recruit new Death Eaters, killing people right and left, the bastard." This cued more gasps from Joey and Lauren, who once again clapped their hands over their ears, but Meredith chose to ignore it.

"In that case, we have to find Dumbledore and fast," she nodded, "Do you know where his portrait might be?"

"Wait, we still gotta find Ginny," Joey whined, "Where's that dumbass Cedric when you need him?"

"He's dead," Lauren added helpfully, before taking notice of the mildly shocked expression on Meredith's face, "What? Too soon?"

"Just a tad," she grimaced.

"Well, it looks like we have difficult task ahead of us chaps," Lauren continued, "And to be perfectly honest, Mr. Lupin, Ronald, and I, we're three of the stupidest people I know. We're going to need the help of my most loyal underlings; Crabbe and Goyle!"

"Not those two," Joey groaned. Julia and Jim entered the room a few seconds later.

"You bellowed?" Jim said in his deep, rumbling voice.

"Yes, we are in need of as much help as we can muster," Lauren drawled, "We must find both the portrait of Dumbledore and a Miss Ginny Weasley. Have either of you seen them?"

"…No," Julia grunted, "But I saw this nerd from Hufflepuff, so I stole his books and threw them down the corridor."

"And I helped," Jim grinned, looking pleased.

"Excellent work," Lauren remarked, "But I'm afraid that isn't going to help us. However, out of curiosity, did he cry?" Meredith groaned exasperatedly; they were clearly trying to either a) push her buttons, b) slow her down, or c) all of the above.

"That does it, I'm leaving," she frowned, moving towards the door.

"Wait! You mustn't go alone!" Lauren shrieked, "Not with the Dark Lord on the loose! Crabbe and Goyle will go with you while we aid Professor Lupin in getting up and erm, perhaps finding some trousers."

"Fine," Meredith sighed, "But they had better keep up." She stalked out, Julia and Jim in her wake, who were desperately trying not to laugh. It was roughly a minute before they dared to speak. Grinning slyly, Julia slid a replica wand out of her pocket and tapped Meredith on the shoulder.

"Um, excuse me," she mumbled, "You dropped this." Meredith turned to see Julia holding out the wand in her right hand.

"I don't think I-" Meredith started slowly.

"I saw it fall out of your pocket," Julia urged, "Take it." The girl hesitantly took it between her fingers, still staring at her friend. She knew the Starkids were huge Potterheads, but where were they getting all of this?

Suddenly, Julia winked at Meredith, breaking character for less than a second. By the time Meredith blinked, she had returned to being Vincent Crabbe. Something really weird was going on; Meredith could make no mistake about that.


	4. Just Give Them Oscars Already

**On with the story! Read, review, and enjoy! Hugs and butterfly kisses, ravenclawdancer4999**

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Meanwhile, back inside the room, Joey held out a hand to a now perfectly sober Brian. He took it and hopped up, grinning mischievously.

"Enjoying yourself?" Lauren asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"More than you'll ever know," Brian winked, his speech completely unimpaired. He tipped the bottle over, demonstrating it had been empty the entire time.

"Would it kill you to at least put on some pants?" Joey muttered quietly.

"I do what I want," Brian smirked, waltzing towards the hallway to follow Meredith, Jim, and Julia. He dramatically staggered into a wall, making as loud a crash as possible. "OW! WHO PUT THAT EFFING WALL THERE?"

Joey and Lauren rolled their eyes, grinned, and followed. It wasn't long before they caught up with Meredith.

"Yeah, we managed to get him up," Joey explained, "Except we couldn't get him to put on some pants, sorry bout' that."

"As of right now, that's the least of my worries," Meredith remarked as Brian started yelling at a dead light bulb in the ceiling, "His sanity is what really concerns me, as a matter of fact, really all of you-"

Her comment was cut off by an earsplitting scream, echoing off the walls. It only took Meredith half a second to realize who it belonged to. She took off running down the hall and took the stairs two at a time. By the time she had reached one of the bedrooms, it was too late.

Denise was sprawled out on the floor, a look of pure terror etched across her face. Her blue eyes stared unblinkingly at the ceiling and her mouth was wide open. Jim was down on his knees next to her immobile body before Meredith could do anything. He strategically moved himself in front of Denise's face (time she used to blink) and placed his fingers on her neck.

"No pulse," he grunted, even though there clearly was one, "She must be petrified."

"Denise," Meredith uttered. Even though she knew there was nothing wrong, the sight of Denise's unblinking eyes was still unnerving.

"The work of Voldemort if I ever saw it," Brian growled, his words still slurred.

"I'm so terribly sorry for your loss," Lauren said smoothly, sliding an arm around Meredith, "If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for you."

"Bullshit," Joey snarled, shoving Lauren away and placing his own arm on Meredith's shoulder, "_I'm _her shoulder to cry on."

"Pardon my Disney reference, but I'm not a prize to be won," Meredith scowled, pulling away from both of them.

"What's a Disney?" Joey asked innocently.

"Is it some sort of disease?" Julia added. They both waited for the harsh retaliation, but it never came. Meredith had gone silent.

"Do you hear something?" she whispered.

"No," Jim deadpanned, "Only quiet."

"Someone's moving around a few doors down," Meredith hissed, "Now shut up and follow me." No one was in the mood to argue, so they did as they were told.

Meredith, with everyone else in tow, crept down the hallway to the back bedroom. When she was just outside the doorway, she turned to the Starkids and put her finger to her lips. They nodded and she burst through the door.

Jaime whipped around and screamed at the top of her lungs, so loud that Meredith put her hands over her ears.

"Jeez, Jaime," Meredith glowered, "Was that really necessary?"

"Well I'm sorry," she whined in a high-pitched voice, "You shouldn't sneak up on me like that, but, who's Jaime?"

"She, you-oh, never mind," Meredith replied wearily. She needed friends whose sole purpose in life wasn't tormenting people, specifically her.

"Where the hell have you been?" Joey demanded.

"I needed to pee but I couldn't find the bathroom, Ronald!" Jaime retorted, "It wasn't like you were any help!"

"Stupid sister!" Joey scolded, clapping her over the ears. Jaime recoiled, putting her hands over her ears and letting out a screech that honestly made Meredith's ears want to bleed.

"Have you seen Dumbledore's portrait anywhere?" Meredith asked after the noise stopped.

"I think so…" Jaime replied, her face screwed up in concentration, "Maybe I saw it in the Great Hall, but maybe I saw it on my way to Charms."

"Finally, we're getting somewhere," Meredith sighed, "Let's go to the, Great Hall, as you put it."

On the way downstairs, Jaime seemed to have taken the whole 'annoying little sister' thing to heart, and perhaps a bit too far. She didn't seem capable of shutting her mouth. Eventually, it began to drive Meredith insane.

"Have you heard of my boyfriend, Harry Potter? Oh, silly me, of course you have, everyone has," she babbled, "He is so smart, and funny, and supermegafoxyawesomehot. He writes me love songs and gets me presents all the time. Just last week he gave me a drawing he made of us getting MARRIED, can you believe it? It was the best thing EVER. Do you think it means he actually might want to get married? Oh my Rowling, I think I might just die if he-"

"SHUT UP!" Meredith roared.

Everyone stopped in their tracks, their eyes wide with shock. She immediately regretted the decision when she saw Jaime's lower lip tremble, as though she was about to cry. The acting going on in the room, particularly Jaime's, was definitely Oscar-worthy.

"I'm sorry," Jaime whimpered, "I just like Harry so much and-"

"No, I'm sorry," Meredith apologized quickly, "I, shouldn't have screamed…"

There was a clear silence by the time the group ended up back in the dining room. Meredith scanned the room for anything she may have missed earlier and her eyes stopped on a quill and paper sitting in the chair Nick had previously occupied. She approached and examined the paper with writing already on it.

_"Whatever is on the table is in Ravenclaw Tower._

_ The bag of knuts is in the hidden drawer._

_ Your clue is in one of the two common rooms._

_ Both towers have tables in them to place an item on._

_ The cauldron nor the mimbulus mimbletonia is on the shelf._

_ The bag of knuts belongs to Professor Sinistra._

_ The dungeons and Ravenclaw Tower do not have hidden drawers._

_ Whatever is in the kitchen is behind the bookcase._

_ Either the cauldron or the bag of knuts is in the kitchen._

_ Mimbulus mimbletonia needs light where it is hidden."_

"A logic puzzle," Meredith murmured, "And it'll lead me to my first clue." Everyone looked at her expectantly as she thought about her next move. "Ron, Lupin, you two patrol the floor for anything suspicious," she ordered, "Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle, you stand guard outside the door."

"What do I do?" Jaime asked impatiently.

"You'll stay with me while I try to solve this puzzle," Meredith replied firmly, "If any of you come across something strange, yell 'Quidditch' loud enough for everyone to hear from where we are. Clear?"

"Yes ma'am," Brian saluted drunkenly.

"Your wish is our command," Lauren bowed low.

"Yeah, what he said," Ron added. Everyone scattered as Meredith sat herself in the chair and drew a messy chart on the other piece of paper.

"Let's see," she murmured under her breath, "That means I can rule out the bookcase, the shelf and the drawer…" As she continued muttering to herself, Jaime looked on and was silent for nearly a minute. Though soon enough, she allowed her eyes to cross, looking very dazed.

"I have to go to the bathroom now," she said in a very dreamy voice, stumbling out of the room.

"Take your time," Meredith called, having not noticed the strange behavior due to her extremely intense concentration. She failed to notice that Jaime never returned


	5. We've Taught Her Well

**Read and review! Hugs and butterfly kisses, ravenclawdancer4999**

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About ten minutes later, Meredith emerged, waving the sheet of paper.

"I've got it!" she grinned, "The clue is in the dungeons on the top shelf so we should-"

Another scream rang out through the house, this time it was male. Not bothering to say anything, the group sprinted down the hall into the living room to find Matt sprawled on the floor in the same manner as Denise, except he was lying face down on the floor.

"Too late again," Joey grimaced.

"We really need to work on our timing," Lauren commented.

"I guess there's nothing we can really do," Meredith sighed, "Let's just go to the dungeons and find that clue."

Thumping loudly down the stairs, the group surveyed the basement as Meredith reached up on to the top shelf of a bookcase (which coincidently held all seven Harry Potter Books). After a few seconds of groping around, her hand felt cool metal. Taking it down and opening her palm, a gold coin sat in the center, stamped with various symbols and numerals.

"A galleon?" Meredith murmured, "What does this have to do with anything?"

"Perhaps we need to bribe someone?" Lauren suggested.

"Or, we could just forget this whole thing and buy some chocolate frogs," Ron added.

"Wait a second, lemme try something," Brian said, holding out his hand for the galleon. Meredith handed it to him, but he outstretched his hand once more. "I need to borrow your wand too, dumbass, I can't perform a spell without a wand." There was more gasping and covering of ears, but Meredith uneasily gave him the wand as well.

"_Tenebris Revelio,_" Brian muttered in a surprisingly calm voice. Nothing happened, just as Meredith had expected.

"That was anticlimactic," Jim commented.

"Can it, sasquatch," Brian retorted, "I was checking to see if there were any dark curses on it, which there aren't, but don't think it doesn't have some other sort of jinx."

Very curious, Meredith took both the galleon and the wand back from Brian. After pocketing the wand, she moved the galleon between her fingers thoughtfully. She could have sworn she remembered some minor detail in the books about a galleon, but the silence didn't last long enough for her to figure it out; one last ear-piercing shriek filled the manor, echoing creepily off the walls.

"Who was that?" Jim said seriously.

"Wait, where's Ginny?" Joey asked, sounding nervous, "Please tell me that she's just playing some kind of a stupid trick on us."

"Oh, no," Meredith realized, suddenly remembering the dazed manner in which Jaime had left the room. She grabbed _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_ off the bookshelf and rifled through to chapter seventeen.

"_Haven't you guessed yet, Harry Potter? Ginny Weasley opened the Chamber of Secrets. She strangled the school roosters and daubed threatening messages on the walls. She set the Serpent of Slytherin on four Mudbloods, and the Squib's cat."_

Turning the pages so quickly she nearly tore them, she went back to chapter sixteen. She scanned through the words and stopped on one sentence.

"Her skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever," she uttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Joey whimpered.

"It means that Voldemort has been under our noses all along," Meredith frowned, cursing herself for not picking up on it earlier, "He's been controlling Jaime-er-Ginny since the beginning. I can't believe I didn't see it; didn't anyone notice that whenever someone was petrified, she was conveniently not around?"

"And that shriek-" Brian started.

"Was Ginny herself," Meredith confirmed.

"What do we do?" Julia asked stupidly.

"I suppose there is nothing we really can do," Lauren shrugged, "Except perhaps pack up and get our pathetic little tushes out of here."

"No, you listen to me, Malfoy," Joey snarled, grabbing Lauren roughly by the collar of her shirt and pinning her against the wall, "She may be a pain in the ass, but she's my pain in the ass and I'm not losing her. We are going to march in there and save my sister."

"How do we do that?" Jim asked, catching Joey slightly off guard.

"…Um, I hadn't gotten that far," Joey confessed, "Who has ideas?"

"I vote we send in Crabbe and Goyle," Brian volunteered, "If they save Ginny, all the better. If they get killed in the process, we're none the worse."

"Hey!" Jim and Julia exclaimed angrily.

"No," Meredith interrupted calmly but firmly, "No one, not even Crabbe or Goyle, is going to go at this alone. We all go, together."

"But-" Lauren started to whine.

"You're either with us or against us, Draco," Meredith countered bluntly. The petite girl paused for a moment, as though weighing her options.

"Oh, alright," Lauren sighed a minute later, "But only because _you _asked me to do it. Let it be known I'm only in this for the glory."

"Good choice," Meredith grinned, "Now, let's go kill Voldemort." She tromped off up the stairs, looking extremely determined.

"It seems we've taught her well," Joey mused, once she was out of earshot.

"Now comes the real test," Jim chuckled, moving to follow Meredith.

Once everyone had caught up, Meredith led them directly to the upstairs bathroom. On opening the door, they found Jaime, lying face down on the floor and motionless, just like in the book.

"GINNY!" Joey wailed, dropping down to her side, "We're too late!"

"Not quite," a sinister voice laughed, "But don't hold your breath, because soon, it will be." Everyone but Meredith cowered in the doorway.

"Let's see what's behind curtain number one," she remarked.

Rolling her eyes, the girl walked over to the shower and pulled back the curtain. Sitting in the tub was Joe, wearing no shirt and a black bed sheet draped around his shoulders.

"What do you know? It's Lord Voldemort," she commented, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Dammit, how did you find my secret fortress?" Joe growled, "It's unplottable!"

"Call it female intuition," Meredith smirked.

"Why you filthy little-" Walker snarled, "Slaaaaaave, kill these worthless pieces of Doxy manure at once!" Ginny slowly rose from the floor in an almost zombie-like manner, her eyes crossed and arms outstretched.

"Kill…" she hissed.

"I suggest you and your little friends run," he cackled. They didn't need to be told twice, they bolted as Jaime staggered after them.

"What do we do?" Ron panted, running alongside Meredith.

"I hadn't thought of that yet!" Meredith admitted.

"What?! So you're telling us that you don't even have some sort of plan?" Lauren yelped.


	6. Took You Long Enough

**Yay, final chapter! I know this story has gone by really quickly, but I hope you all enjoyed it (I know I loved writing it)! There won't be many updates in the next 2 months or so, due to end of the term events and final exams, but as usual, I'll do the best I can. I'll keep rummaging through my computer and try to find something to post. Just because it's over, still review and let me know what you think. Was it in character? Could my grammar be better? Do you have any ideas of what you want to see in the future? Let me know! Hugs and butterfly kisses, ravenclawdancer4999.**

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The group reached the living room, but realized far too late that there was nowhere to run. Jaime stumbled in, accompanied closely by Joe, who looked very smug indeed.

"You know what to do, slave," he nodded to Jaime. She promptly extracted a wand and pointed it directly at Jim.

"_Petrificus Totalus,"_ she grinned maniacally. Jim fell loudly to the floor. _"Stupefy, Tarantella, Bat-Bogey Hex." _Julia, Brian, and Lauren followed, each reacting to their respective jinxs. "_Jelly-Legs Jinx." _Joey's legs collapsed underneath him, sending him melting into the floor.

"Well, aren't you in a predicament?" Walker drawled, looking directly at Meredith, "You just got your little friends captured and now you're all as good as dead. Tell me, how do you feel right now?"

"Confused, slightly concerned that my friends belong in an insane asylum," Meredith answered truthfully. If Walker was taken aback by this comment, he didn't show it.

"Excellent," he smiled evilly, raising his own wand "Now, let's finish this."

"Use your wand!" Brian yelled loudly before being stunned by Jaime. Meredith looked over at him curiously; use her wand? What good would that do? It wasn't like anything was going to actually happen…

"_AVADA KEDAVRA_!" Joe bellowed before she could get her bearings.

"_EX-EXPELLIARMUS!" _Meredith shouted back almost automatically, not even thinking about the word coming out of her mouth. Before she could even process what had happened, Walker fell dramatically to the floor, his bed sheet cape falling over him like a shroud. The girl looked from the wand to Joe, then back at the wand. Had that really just happened?

Suddenly, all the curses seemed to have been "lifted." Jaime's eyes uncrossed and the evil expression was now replaced with complete confusion.

"What…what happened? How did I get here?" she asked shakily.

"Long story short; you wandered off and got possessed by Voldemort," Meredith explained, "And I just killed him; you're welcome." On hearing this, Jaime frankly looked as though she was about to pass out.

On a whim, Meredith pointed the wand at Julia.

"_Stupefy_," she said firmly. Julia promptly let out a yell before collapsing to the floor, completely motionless.

"What was that for?" Lauren demanded, "Crabbe never did anything to you!"

"I think it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean," Joey grinned, looking bemused, "Do Malfoy next…"

"Fix this!" Jim rumbled.

"Keep your robes on," Meredith said smoothly, "I remember the counter-curse; _Ennervate_." Julia rose from the ground, rubbing her head and scowling.

"That was uncalled for," Julia growled, trying to hide a smile. Meredith was finally starting to figure out how this game worked.

"We knew you could do it," Brian remarked, "I assure you, I never doubted you, not for a minute."

"It doesn't matter anyways," Meredith frowned, still looking at Joe, "It's not like I'm any closer to figuring out of any of, this." She gestured exasperatedly around the room.

"What's 'this?'" Brian responded, copying Meredith's motion.

"Don't play stupid, you all know what I mean," Meredith groaned, "Pretending you don't know who you are, following me around blabbering on about Voldemort, and flat out trying to drive me insane!"

"Perhaps I could be of some assistance," a voice replied.

Whipping around, Meredith laid eyes on Dylan, who strolled into the living room, while holding a frame. Just when she was about to say something, Nick followed, carrying the Sorting Hat puppet. She raised an eyebrow; now she had seen everything.

"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, at your service," Dylan commented, his gaze falling to Joe, who was still lying on the floor, "And let me be the first to congratulate you on defeating the most dark wizard of all time,"

"Oh, that?" Meredith shrugged, "It was nothing."

"I hardly think it was nothing," Nick remarked, using the puppet expertly, "Not just anyone can face He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were a Gryffindor…"

"Now, what is it that you can't figure out?" Dylan said calmly.

"I was supposed to 'put together the clues to discover my role,'" she shook her head, "But I've been so distracted that I haven't even had the chance to look."

"What makes you think you haven't already found them?" he answered wisely.

"What do you mean?"

"You can't tell me you haven't noticed; you're holding one in your hand right now." Meredith looked down and saw the replica wand still gripped tightly in her hand.

"So?"

"Perhaps your clues aren't as obvious as you think they are. Think about everything that's happened; what have you come across, how have these people treated you?"

Meredith strained her brain for the smallest details, something, anything that might help. She remembered the cat that had frightened her so much. Joey and Lauren flirting with her and arguing with each other constantly. The Time Turner. Brian calling her a night troll. The wand Julia had given her. The logic puzzle she solved. The galleon she found in the basement. Nick commenting that she belonged in Gryffindor. Suddenly, it all clicked into place.

"No way," she uttered, "Am I, Hermione Granger?"

"Indeed, Miss Stepien," Dylan grinned, breaking character.

There was a simultaneous shout of excitement. Matt and Denise came trotting into the room as everyone returned to their usual state.

"Took you long enough!" Lauren exclaimed, dropping her British accent.

"I was starting to think I was going to have to make out with you for you to figure it out," Joey chuckled.

"Welcome to the dark side," Joe added, grinning broadly, "We've been expecting you."

"So? Will you be our Hermione?" Matt asked.

"Hell yeah!" Meredith answered enthusiastically, "I only have one question though, was all of this really necessary? Couldn't you have just told me?"

"We could have," Nick smiled, "But it wouldn't have been nearly as much fun."


End file.
